The Silence In Between
by Backward-In-Heels
Summary: What made Peggy Carter the woman she is today? Peggy tells Jack about her life before and during the war, and Jack see's her in a totally new light.


**Wow! It has been so long since I have published I story. I hope you enjoy this. It is rather short, but last night's episode, "Smoke and Mirrors" was really inspiring. I love Thompson, and I wanted Peggy to give him some insight into her life and what make her what she is.**

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 _"Come on Carter, I owe you a drink"_

Peggy honestly couldn't believe that Jack Thompson, of all people was inviting her out for a drink. Well, it was technically a guilt offering, but you take what you can get sometimes. The boys found a nice little bar not too far from the office that didn't have too many heads turn when a lady graced the presence of the whiskey smelling, cigar hazed bar.

With drinks ordered, a round of bourbon for all, the agents settled into a comfortable, if not quiet chatter. The usual camaraderie subdued with the loss of two agents still heavy on the mind and the fact that a lady was with them.

Slowly, an hour passed by with a few more rounds of bourbon entering the battle weary soldiers, before the men slowly started to trickle off to go home.

Finally, it was just Jack and Peggy, nursing their fourth, maybe fifth round of bourbon, and an easy silence falling between the two agents. Both were contemplating how to break the silence, and Peggy was just about to say something before Jack beat her to it.

"Can I ask you something Carter?" Jack said, sounding surprisingly sober for a man with such a high amount of caffeine and alcohol buzzing through his system. Peggy gave him a dubious look from over the rim of her glass, but didn't say no.

"I suppose you can ask, but that doesn't guarantee that I will answer," Peggy answer back cautiously. Jack snorted softly because that sounded exactly like something Peggy would say.

"How'd you get to where you are now?" Jack asked, "How did you become the gun wielding agent and spy? 'Cause incase you haven't noticed, most women aren't like you." Jack half expected her to flat refuse answering his question, but to his great surprise, she took a deep breath and began her story.

"I wasn't always like this Jack," Peggy said, not caring whether Jack was paying attention or not, because sometime you needed to get things off your chest. People knew bits and pieces of her story, but never had she told anyone the whole thing.

Jack gave her a doubting look, which she expected. Never the less, Peggy went on with her story.

"I grew up with such an idyllic childhood, two parents, the best big brother, a home in the English country side. I was always getting into little scrapes at school, and Michael was constantly telling, "Peggy, the world won't be ready for you when you come charging at it." She said with a sad chuckle. Jack was a little surprised that she had a brother, but of course, how would he know, they never talked unless it was to trade insults.

"Anyways, I went through school and in 1940, I found myself at Bletchley Park decoding enemy messages. I was good at it, sometimes, I wished I'd have stayed there, kept my quiet life in England." Peggy said with a distant look of regret in her eyes.

"So why didn't you?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I had every intention of staying in England and leading the life of a quiet housewife, in fact, I was engaged to be married in 1940." Jack almost choked on his drink when he heard this. Peggy Carter had another man in her life before Rogers?

"Don't look so shocked Thompson," Peggy said playfully, "I was actually quite meek when I was younger…well, more meek than I am now."

"You're ever a surprise Carter," Jack said drily, "So what happened, did you marry him?" Peggy shook her head slowly as she took another sip of her drink.

"No, Fred and I, well, he represents who I was when the war just began. I was young, and I wanted to be a wife and mother, I was willing to give up all my dreams to marry him. Now I'm so grateful I didn't marry him." Jack was so confused at this point. This woman, Peggy Carter, was once a meek little woman who was about to get married.

"So did you leave him at the alter?" Jack asked.

"No, I did not leave him at the alter," Peggy replied with a hint of annoyance in her voice. "I broke our engagement off a week before the wedding." Peggy said without a trace of regret.

Jack was hardly processing all she was saying, he even wondered if she might have been a little drunk to be spilling all these past events with him. But he kept him mouth shut hoping she would tell him more.

"You see, before Michael died, he recommended me for a position at SOE as a covert agent. At Fred's urging, I turned it down so I could stay home and raise a family, but when Michael died, I felt like I had to take the position for him. I didn't want his death to be in vain." Peggy said quietly, trying to keep her tears at bay.

Jack was finally beginning to realize just how much she had lost to the war. Her brother, her fiancée, Rodger. This woman carried some serious baggage.

"Anyways, I trained with the SOE, I became good at it, really good. I did missions during the war, most of which I'm sure are nothing more than a redacted document in the War Office now." Peggy said bitterly. "Then I met Colonel Philips. He was heading a new Science Division and he had asked for an agent to extract a doctor out of Germany. I still remember the look on his face when he realized that I was the agent they had sent him. He gave me one of his signature grim looks, and told me if I screwed it up, I might as well not bother coming back." Peggy said with a found smile in her face.

"Needless to say, I retrieved Dr. Erskine, and Project Rebirth began. That's where I met Steve." Peggy's voice was cracking now, no doubt all these bad memories were very unpleasant to remember. She took a deep breath to clear her throat.

"Any way's, I'm sure you know the rest of the story" Peggy said tipping back the rest of her drink. "And now I'm here"

They continued to sit there in silence for a while, neither knowing what else to say. Peggy had expected Jack to comment, or make some snappy remark, but instead a silence fell in between them.

Jack's thoughts were racing through his mind. In the span of ten minutes the woman before him completely changed. She would forever look different in his eyes. He wouldn't be able to treat her the same any more, not because he pitied her, but because he respected her.

He saw her in a new light, he saw how much she had lost and given up. He thought about what the boys at the office would say if they could see him now, but he decided not to think about that too much. Instead, what he said would make all the difference.

"Peggy Carter, you are one hell of a woman." And of course, we all know she was.

 _You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said—Florence+The Machine/ No Light No Light_


End file.
